Check it out.
Afte more than a year, I'm dragging my sorry butt back to the blog. It should be fun! So watch this spot for a few recent observations. It's the least I could do to share my paranoia with someone else, and help keep your life from being COMPLETELY without distraction!

THrace

Magic Man ?


Were you one of the hundreds of thousands...or maybe millions who watched magician David Blaine do his week-long drowining man thing on ABC network this past week? If you did, or if you heard about it, then of course you've got lots and lots of company. But I've been wondering just what this means. I mean the fact that so many of us have paid attention to what is at the very least, a completely obvious stunt designed to get us to watch even more of the Alphabet Network, really suprises me.Are we that hungry for entertainment?
Blaine's stunt went something like this: beginning last Monday, May first, Blaine lowered himself into a large, globe shaped tank of salt water, and allowed himself to be suspended under water for the entire week. He used a breathing aparatus. He took in no food, just liquids. He was on public display outside ABC studios for the entire week, while the netowork's morning show, Good Morning America, blathered on about the impending stunt every morning leading up to the final day. The stunt, or magic act, was supposed to take place on May 8th, when Blaine would remove his oxygen supply and hold his breath underwater for longer than 8 minutes and 58 seconds.
Anyway, after a week of televised hype, the moment of truth came, featured in a two hour long tv special on the night of May 8th. Blaine removed his oxygen supply, and managed to hold his breath for just over 7 minutes. After a few very dramatic moments when it appeared that Blaine might actually drown himself while attempting the record, his crew members pulled him from the tank, gave him first aid and wrapped him in warm towels. What followed was ( for his fans present at the event ) a hear-warming speech puntuated by "thank-yous" and other expressions of gratitude. I know this sounds corny- it is- but it made GREAT tv.
Here's the thing: Blaine suspended himeslf in a big transparent tank of water, with an oxygen supply , out in the open, for a whole week. When the moment of truth came, preceeded by days of network TV coverage, the magician couldn't even hold his breath for as long as he'd claimed he would. If he'd sold us a car, we'd want our money back! But people loved his little show. Hundreds of thousands of viewers watched. Why?
I can think of lots of answers for this, and none of them say anything good about us, the viewing public.
But here's what I think is at work here. I think most of us watched, because we like magic. And we were subjected to magic. I mean the real thing. Real magic.
My friend Ryan says, magic doesn't have to be supernatural, necessarily. It just has to manipulate others enough so that they believe a certain set of ideas, or so that they behave in the desired fashion. Magic not only subjects us to the illusion, it makes us buy the illusion. I'm willing to buy that definition of magic, and boy, do I think most of us got a snootfull this week. I'm not an advocate of magic. And I believe it can have a spiritual aspect. still,
consider this: Blaine is terrific at what he does. I've seen televised specials of this man where he performs some extremely mind-bending feats. The first that comes to mind is where he causes himself to levitate before the very eyes of people on the street. They were terrified as they watched. I've also seen him perform other magic feats which left his audience frightended and bewildered.
Consider this as well: Blaine's ' Drowned Alive ' stunt was begun on the morning of May 1st. Many people call this mayday. Witches and Wiccans call this the first day of Beltaine. Beltaine or Beltane means " Bel's Fire". It's a spring fertility festival which honors Bel, the nature god. Check your Celtic or Wiccan traditions.
The following several days are of course the Week of Beltaine. If Blaine is an actual practitioner of magic, wouldn't Beltaine be the perfect time to work an act of magic on millions of willing viewers? Of course it would. In fact, there couldn't be a better time.

David Blaine uses the week of Beltaine to cast a massive spell over the whole country, to get them to join him in his act. Those who are affected are drawn to their televisions, or to his actual location to watch him work his magic, and when the stunt is completed, they feel attached to him. They hope he'll achieve his goal. They send warm thoughts and feelings his way. They become his fans. Have you seen them? Even those who aren't so deeply affected are still curious enough to watch to see what's going to happen. Millions tune in to see this stunt through to the end. When he was finally removed from that tank, the massive crowd cheered and applauded. When he spoke to them afterward, they hung on every word. You're probably still seeing snippets of tv interviews with him right now.
Congratualtions. You've been bewitched.
The awesome power of tv has allowed a powerful magician to capture your attention and hold you spellbound... even though you didn't realize it was happening.
Now. Who else has betwitched you? Who else has used the tremendous power of modern media to capture your eyes and ears and make you sympathise with their cause?
Have you ever really hated a pop song, but still you kept hearing that song play in your head? Do you keep seeing the image of someone you despise, like Paris Hilton or Tom Cruise, over and over again, whether you want to or not? Is it magic that eventually makes you soften and decide "well, they're not really that bad. Maybe I will go see that movie after all!"
For sure, David Blaine isn't the only skillful magician out there. No doubt there are many others, some of them in high places. We can't really help the fact that they're there. But it's up to us whether we fall under thier spell.

Themis, Part II

Just a couple of additional interesting facts about the Chrome goddess.
Montgomery's sculpture of Themis features her head only, which hovers above an oval reflecting pool. In the arena of the occult, ovals represent the feminine principal, and sheets of mirrored glass and pools are important. They represent the spirit realm, or other dimensions or realities.
If you stand directly in front of the sculpture, and look at Themis with that in mind, you notice a close association between her gleaming head and the water of the pool. She hangs just above the reflecting pool....engaged in deep meditation. What could she be meditating on? Also when viewed head on, a massive eagle perched above the main door in the background appears to crown her head.
The Chrome diety stands guard outside of the Federal Courthouse of the Middle District of Alabama in the city of Montgomery.
As I mentioned in the last entry, that building was dedicated on September 13, 2002.
In occult numerology, that date is significant. The 13 is obvious. And if you add September, which equals 9 ( the ninth month ) to 13, you get 22. 22 is of course, 2 x 11. You're left with 11 and 13. The numbers 11 and 13 are important occult numbers which symbolize destruction and rebellion.
These all go to the point of the blog...that what appears to be coincidental usually is not, and that we should look with care at the objects and symbols all around us. Artists often speak in a hidden language. Our Federal government seems well versed in this hidden language, and never engages in major activities, makes policy, goes to war, or even dedicates a building without carefully studying how and when to do it. To go and see the chrome goddess as she stands watch over the Federal courthouse in Montgomery is to watch the hidden world in action.

THEMIS

She is perhaps the brightest and boldest of Alabama's goddesses.....

She is called Themis.

I first heard about Themis on another website several months ago when I was doing a little research on the presence of goddess figures in public places. I was looking up Blind Justice, I think, when I came upon the name of Themis, and found the website of someone who was VERY unhappy with an homage to the goddess on one of Alabama's public buildings.. This is that website.

There's a very unusual sculpture of the goddess at the Federal courthouse in Montgomery Alabama.
It's highly stylized, and while it is supposed to represent Lady Justice, on close inspection, it's overall appearnce is to me, quite ominous. I'm not the only one strangely moved by
this shining image. The author of the afore-mentioned website entitles her brief essay "Pagan Religion at the Federal Courthouse". This statue of course, is in the very same city where Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore was suspended because he refused to take down a monument featuring the Ten Commandments back in 2003. For people following that chain of events, Themis seems to create a bit of a conundrum, to say the least.
I was in Nashville when I came upon the site. I knew I'd have to make the trip to Montgomery to see this thing. The other day I did. My pics are featured here. The goddess sculpture at the Federal Courthouse features a large Chrome feminine head, with a blindfold
that is melded into the face. It's mounted on a marble wall, with several bands of chrome running behind it. Turns out, that wall is actually a flag; it features thirteen stripes, and beneath it, are three pentagrams.
One either side of the head are large bowls with water continually flowing out. I read recently that the bowls
are meant to represent the scales of " Lady Justice " as seen in more traditional figures.

Themis is:
..."the Titan Goddess of divine law and order - those rules of conduct first established by the gods. She was also a prophetic goddess who presided over the most ancient of the earthly oracles, including the shrine of Delphoi. In this role, she was the divine voice who first instructed mankind in the primal laws of justice and morality, such as the precepts of piety, the rules of hospitality, good governance, conduct of assembly, and pious offerings to the gods. Themis was the prime counsellor of Zeus in heaven, where she was seated beside his throne to advise him on the precepts of divine law..":

Warding Off Evil?

When you see it first hand, the sculpture is very striking, and reminds me a lot more of a kind of gargoyle than a ' statue'. And I think it's purpose may be the same. A little research on the gargoyle tells us that the horrific images of bats, dragons, monsters and human heads which adorn gothic churches and other buildings once served the mystic purpose of protecting the building from evil, by warding off evil spirits. True, the gargoyles often served the dual purpose of waterspout, so that rainwater could be channeled away from the building. Of course, the image of Themis serves no such purpose. She really is more of a traditional gargoyle....a spirit image designed to protect the Federal edifice.
Themis is a classic example of the goddess in America ( or is that the goddess of America?) In other words, she's but another representation of Lady Justice, who is Lady Liberty, who is Columbia, who is Athena, who is also Diana, who is also Ceres who is The Eternal Virgin who is Isis. Amazing. A massive, modern building erected by the government on September 13, 2002, still pays homage to an ancient pagan diety who must be one of the most powerful objects of worship of all time. Who says the Old gods are dead?

Esoteric Alabama or, How I learned to stop Worrying and Love Planet Vulcan

I've said before that Birmingham Alabama is one of my favorite towns. I've been traveling her roads quite a bit lately, and I've begun to notice something; there a great many very notable statues and works of art here that have a high mythic or esoteric significance. You'll find these kinds of buildings and art in most towns, but in Birmingham, they REALLY jump out at you.
Birmingham is especially proud of a giant sculptre called Vulcan. And in fact, that's just what it is. An enormous likeness of the god Vulcan, also called Hephestus. Birmingham Alabama's Vulcan has the distinction of being the world's tallest iron sculpture. It was produced as a gift to the Magic City ( Birminghams' nickname, and another nod to the esoteric, which may be the subject of a future post)
He was designed in 1924 by Italian sculptor Giuseppe Masetti. Vulcan is the Roman god of fire, and of the forge. The reason given for the statue's existence in Birmingham is that for many decades the city was a tremendous center of steel production. In legend, Vulcan wrought metal with his mighty hammer and anvil.
Of course I joke when I call Birmingham planet Vulcan. There's a lot more going on there than just this enormous Greek god. But this particular piece of work occupies a high place of honor in the city. It sits perched high above the valley on top of Red Mountain, much higher than any of the city's buildings. He's more or less Birmingham's official mascot, and he's very hard to miss.
Author and mythology researcher William Henry believes that most mythic figures and buildings in modern cities are built to convey a hidden, sometimes mystic message. He and I don't proceed from the same philosophical foundations- but I absolutely agree with him on this point. Read more about his assertions here. (He does a darn fine job of analyzing one of my other favorite cities, Nashville, TN )
Henry contends that figures like the massive Vulcan and other mythic personages are placed to send us a message...to convey thougts and ideas that go far beyond the mundane. What were the city fathers who so honored mighty Vulcan really trying to say?
It's a question I bear in mind as I ponder another mythic creature which also inhabits a high place of honor in the Birmingham skyline.
Occult researcher and commentator Freeman says U.S. cities feature large numbers of statues which represent female deities or goddess figures. She is often called the Great Goddess. And she comes in many forms. Wanna see one? Just go downtown to your local county or Federal courthouse. You'll see her with blindfold and scales. Look on top of the dome of your state capitol. Perhaps there she carries a scale and a sword. Go get a sandwich at Panera Bread, or check that silver dollar in your pocket. She is practically everywhere.
Freeman spells this out in a excerpt from one of his most recent web articles:

"If we consider the symbolism used by the brotherhood, the symbols most prevalent, go to the goddess. In America, we call her Columbia. In England she is known as Brittania, hence British Columbia. In the past she has been known as Semiramis, Ishtar, Anat, Asherah, Isis, Minerva, Aphrodite, Venus, et al. Now, let's look at the goddess symbolism. She is known as a triple goddess, trinities relate to her. In the Tarot the 3rd major arcana is the Empress. She is symbolized as a phoenix rising and is known as the eye goddess. As Venus, she is symbolized by a shell and a pentagram. Most of the goddess' have connections with the merfolk. Isis in the egyptian pantheon, is a symbol of Sirius, a recently re-discovered trinary star system..." Very heady stuff, yes. But the truth of these symbols is far more compelling than a passing glance will reveal. And far more important.
If we follow this idea, then Birmingham Alabama posseses a spectacular example of this goddess. The locals call her Lady Electra. She's the 23 foot tall, gold-plated statue which stands on tiptoe high atop the Alabama Power building downtown. There's nothing else quite like her in the state. The golden figure is four times taller than the average man. Clutching lightning bolts in each fist, the nude figure seems to be the very pinnacle of feminine power and pagan majesty. They call her Electra now, but an article on the statue tells us sculptor Edward Field Sanford Jr. originally entitled her the " Divinity of Light". Because of her brilliance to the eye and her high elevation above the city, she's really more compelling than even Vulcan. But what's even more important, is that she fits the continuing pattern visible in all of our cities of any size. She's literally a shining example of the female deity. The goddess held aloft. Whom do we adore? What do we really worship? To answer this question in a city like Birmingham, maybe all you gotta do is look up.

Through a Glass Darkly- Again

I started this blog with a reference to the famous bible verse, but I thought it would be good to refer to it again because it seems so appropriate here.
Not to abuse the beautiful scripture, which basically says that we'll understand the things we see better once the Lord returns and fulfills his final purpose on Earth.
Here's how the Bible puts it:
"Now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face." I Cor. 13:12 ( KJV)

The glass mentioned refers to a dark or smokey mirror. To me, many things in daily life seem that way.
Some things just aren't obvious on first viewing. I think that's especailly true with many American cities. The symbols and monuments in civic settings can be especially deceptive, as a friend has so clearly pointed out to me over the last several days.
Recently, as he and I were tooling around Nashville, one of my favorite cities, he pointed out that the city's Bicentennial Mall took on a whole new perspective depending how one views it.
The Bicentennial mall isn't a shopping center. Rather, it's a large, linear styled park, a lot like the Mall in Washington DC.

It's pleasant enough to walk through. But if you view it from the elevated height of the State Capitol building, it takes on quite another shape. As seen from the balcony of the capitol, the mall, which stretches to the west of the capitol for nine acres and then terminates in a rotunda, looks an awful lot like a pyramid, with a glowing circle at the top. It immediately puts you in mind of the pyramid and illuminated eye on the back of the dollar bill. It was clear to us because of this and several other clues, that the mall was Masonically inpspired.

But there's much, much more here. Apparently, the mall is a close copy of an ancient land form called the Pillar of the Immortals. You can see more about this assertion on a fascinating website by new age author William Henry here (http://williamhenry.net/stargateprk.htm)
Henry is familiar with Nashville. He says its Bicentennial Mall is extraordinary ( he calls it StarGate Park ) It seems its designers fashioned it in such a way that it's highly symbolic, and, if you believe in such things, can act as a focusing mechanism for psychic energy. And I thought it was just a nice place to have lunch!
But there are LOTS of things like that here in the Music City. Music City. Music. Musica. Now there's a controversial word!
At least it is in Nashville. Musica is actally a giant bronze sculpture which stands thirty feet tall. ( perhaps the largest bronze sculpture in America ) It's composed of nine nude figures many with limbs interlocked, all dancing around in a sort of ' Ring around the Rosies' fashion. Study the figure's faces. Study thier gestures, and you may come to the conlcusion that there's an orgiastic quality to their frolic. Really. I also personally feel that the piece does put off a 'vibe', if you will. An odd sensation one might feel that goes beyond just what the piece looks like. Viewing the sculpture in person can have a potent effect.

So, what does that have to do with music? That's what Nashville residents have been asking since the piece was first erected. The sculptor, Alan Lequire says this about Musica-

"An artistic idea often seems to miraculously and spontaneously burst forth. This is what happens in the sculpture, and the title MUSICA suggest this since it refers to all the 'arts of the muses.'"

There are plenty of Nashville residents who can't see any connection between the sculpture and thier idea of music. However, the sculpture does seem to have a lot to do with the supernatural. The sculptor has also been quoted as saying the figures are earth-spirits. Little gods and goddesses. Somehow, they burst forth from the earth, eager to celebrate the joy of dance and music and all that it means. A little esoteric for Nashville, I would think. But maybe not.

Sculptor Alan Lequire ( left ) has produced another very notable piece. The massive Statue of Athena is located inside Nashville’s replica of the Parthenon. Nashville’s Parthenon is a near exact copy of the original in Athens, Greece. That centuries-old building has been in ruins since the 1960’s, but is currently being rebuilt. But if you want to know what the original will look like when completed, just look at it’s mirror twin in Nashville.

The giant gilded statue of Athena, located inside, also a perfect historic replica of the original. As I did research for this article, I ran across the following quote from a visitor who posted thier impressions of the statue in an online forum:
"I went to the Parthenon in Nashville, TN over the weekend. This building is amazing. It is an exact replica of the original (so they say) and inside of it is a statue of the Goddess Athena. I believe they said it was 41 feet tall. With her shield to her side and Nike in her hand. On the shield are pictures of many Gods/Goddesses.
I was overwhelmed. As we turned the corner to where She is I had to keep myself from crying and falling at her feet. I stood in awe and really felt as though I was in Her presence."

I guess I'm not the only one who feels these sculptures are powerful.

It could be said that Athena was the favored Goddess of the Greeks. They feared Zeus, and admired Apollo. But Athena was mother and warrior, all in one. Dangerous, but approachable. Today, she sits in all her ancient, gilded glory at the Centennial Park in west Nashville. Why?
Athens Greece is of course named for the goddess Pallas Athena. It is her favorite city, and was THE center in the ancient world for the worship and devotion of the goddess. As a curious coincidence, Nashville’s nickname just happens to be “ The Athens of the South”.
The figures of worship and meditation we’ve mentioned in this article have all been built within the last ten years. No doubt more are planned.
I've been doing an informal survey of my other favorite towns like Atlanta Georiga, Savannah Georgia, Birmingham Alabama, and others. All of them seem to have structures and massive artworks that seem to whisper a secret, underlying reality.
Nashville has a reputation for having lots of Christian churches, and Tennessee is often referred to as the Buckle of the Bible Belt. But Nashville's costly, gilded and larger-than-life monuments of spirits, goddesses and 'sacred structures' seem to say she also has a very powerful Pagan side too. They could just be scattered, unrelated expressions of art. But I think it's more likely that they're connected on some level. Perhaps a spiritual one. Whatever else they are, they definitely allow us to see The Music City more clearly as we gaze at that smokey mirror.

What's in a Name?

Here's another update...this one from the earlier post about the cemetery visit. My friend, who took the terrific pictures on that trip, also provided me with some aditional fascinating information. The whole time we were examining the Masonic gravemarkers, we kept running across lettters. Abbreviations for things we weren't quite sure of. My buddy found a long list he got it from another blog put together by a guy named Steve. So Steve, thanks for the info.

If you happen to come upon any Masonic implements, and see abbreviations that mystify you, just use our litttle list for reference. My personal favorite right now is the AUM ( Ancient Order of Mysteries ) This is an abbreviation we ran into time and time again during our excursion. Heavy stuff, no? And as I said before, these inscriptions tell you A LOT about what these people think of themselves. Check it out:

**.....AF&AM - (masonic)
AOF - Ancient Order Of Foresters
AOH - Ancient Order Of Hibernians
AOKMC - Ancient Order Of Knights of Mystic Chain
AOUW - Ancient Order Of United Workmen
ALOH - American Legion of Honor
AUM - Ancient Order of Mysteries- Masonic Order
BPOE - Benevolent and Protective Order of Elks
BPOEW - Benevolent and Protective Order of Elks of theWorld
CK of A - Catholic Knights of America
COOF - Catholic Order of Foresters
CTAS - Catholic Total Abstinence Society
CBKA - Commander Benevolent Knights Association
CCTAS - Crusaders-Catholic Total Abstinence Society
CSA - Confeserate States of America
DAR - Daughters of American Revolution
EBA - Emerald Beneficial Association
FAA - Free and Accepted Americans
F&AM - Free and Accepted Masons.
FOE - Fraternal Order of Eagles
GALSTPTR - German American Legion of St. Peter
GAR - Grand Army of the Republic
GLAUM - Grand Lodge Ancient Order of Mysteries-Masonic Order
GUOOF - Grand United Order of Odd Fellows
IHSV - Red Cross of Constantine
IOI - Independent Order of Immaculate...**

Notice in the list above, "GAR". Grand Army of the Republic. Isn't that what Emporer Palpatine called his new Clone Army in StarWars Episode II? A "Grand Army of the Republic". Yup. Thought so.

Let The Sunshine ...?

First a quick update. No, not a slacker's update. I know that I haven't blogged in a while- Sorry. But I have been a bit busy. I took a brief vacation. Had a great time. I did North Georgia and Atlanta. The weather wasn't great, but it was cool. I also did a little project.
All my pals know I've been doing an informal study for months on how prevalent sun images and sun worship concepts are in our society. Any way, as I drove around Atlanta and the environs this week, I kept seeing more and more examples of thes sun images. So I quit gawking and started taking pictures instead. You might be suprised just how surrounded we are by representations of the sun. Check out what I saw:
The SunTrust bank, BP petroleum, and even Frito Lay.

An interesting note: you'll find sun logos at almost any major corporation that does busisness with the public. There were plenty that I saw that I won't try to show here. The new BurgerKing logo is the Burger King text superimposed on top of a bright yellow sun. Shell Oil has a new gas additive they call ' V-Power'. The symbol for that is a whirling sun. There's even a big, glossy new shopping and living center in Atlanta called Atlantic Station. Their logo is a great circle with a star in the middle. Star? Pentagram? Hmmm. There are bunches more. See how many you can find when you go out. It will suprise you. Also, none of these logos existed before the year 2000. Not in their 'Sun' form. All fascinating to think about. It may even cause you to ask- 'What is the connection between major corporations and their images of the sun?' That, Detective, is the right question.

The Eides of March

Speaking of weird weird stuff- did you hear about the shootings at Denny's this week? Three seperate shootings in three days, at three completely different restaurants. I won't try to go into all the details. I've listed a pretty good synopsis of the events in a story I clipped from the KUTV website. The picture comes from KCAL.
Check it out:

ANAHEIM, Calif.- For the third time in less than three days, a gunman opened fire inside a Denny’s Restaurant in southern California on Friday. In this latest incident, a man was killed and another was wounded.

Police say the suspect walked into an Anaheim Denny’s at around 2:45 a.m., following a fight between two groups inside the restaurant. Two people were shot.

One victim died inside. The other was taken to the hospital with serious injuries, but is expected to survive. Authorities say the incident does not appear to be gang-related.

The gunman escaped the scene and is currently wanted by Anaheim Police.

Friday’s was the latest in a string of shootings at the nationwide restaurant chain. Three people died Wednesday after a transient pulled two guns and opened fire inside of a Denny’s in Pismo Beach, Calif. He shot two men and a married couple before he took his own life.

Another shooting happened Thursday in Ontario, Calif., when a 37-year-old man was shot and killed in a Denny’s restaurant parking lot. This shooting also started after a fight. The gunman has not been caught in this case either.

Here are a few aspects that made the W-S o'meter alarm go off. First, the original shooting happened on Wednesday, March 15, the Eides of March. None of us who pays attention to seeming random acts of violence is suprised by this particular shooting. Most things that seem to be random acts of public violence, when they occour on signicant days like this, are anything but random ( if this is news to you, then you haven't even made it to first base yet, and much of this blog won't make sense to you. If you want to play along anyway, then try to keep up!)

So you begin with this first set of killings. By the way, the killer offed himself, as programmed killers often do. But then there's yet another Denny's shooting, and the shooter disappears. And then there's yet another shooting, again that shooter goes bye-bye! What are the odds? What are the odds? My Weird Stuff O'meter is ringing loudly now. There's no way these things are a coincidence. Maybe three in 6 months. Maybe. But not THREE shootings in THREE days at the same friggin' restaurant chain. And with no gunmen in custody to question. Coincidence just doesn't work here.
At the risk of being too completely flip here, I will mention that what I find most significant is that the initial attack took place on the 15th, which is the traditional Eides of March. It may not mean much to you, but there are people to whom it means a great deal. If those people are powerful, devoted to occult observances, and prone to make mischief, then the Eides of March is one heck of a good time to do a project. Believe that or don't, but here you have a bizarre string of killings which started on this particular day, and the violence at the restaurants continues on for a total of three , yeah , three days. That points to planning, and the commission of murders with a pattern and purpose.
Okay. What is the purpose then? I have a pretty strong hunch. If you really want to know, ask me and I'll tell you. Right now I've got to turn this thing off.

Meter-Made

Just for future reference, I'm going to let you in on a little device I've been using for a while.
Every so often I'll come across something that is so strange or hard to believe, or sometimes so intriguing, that I can hardly describe it. When I'm at that kind of loss, I pull out a tool I call the Weird-Stuff-O'meter. Yeah. It measures really, really weird, strange stuff. You can figure how it works. If something's crazy weird, it registers on the meter.
I've posted a picture along with this description. It consists of a simple hand held unit which features an LCD display. Attached are two wired probes. When you encounter the weird object, you stick the probes....
Never mind. It doesn't matter where you stick 'em right now. All you need to know is that when something's eceptionally weird the display flashes with the corresponding number, 1-10. 1 being only midly weird. 5 through 7, pret-ty darn weird ( like those Burger King commercials where the King, wearing a vaguely psychotic looking mask, offers you a 1 thousand calorie sausage sandwich )
Anything above 7 takes us into the realm of the VERY weird ( like Dick Chaney's convoluted tale of how he accidentally managed to shoot his good friend in the face while hunting for quail. From a car.) Anything above an 8.5 and the meter begins to flash and an audible alarm sounds. If it gets too weird, the numbers on the display will dissapear altogether. Once, just once, the strangeness got so intense, the numbers vanished, to be replaced by a flashing
" T-I-L-T ". I'll have to tell you that story some time. If it should happen again, I'll let you know.